Everywhere You Are

Where I've lived, the courier services have always been Purolator, or just plain Canada Post Express. American chains like FedEx and UPS, while an option, have never been the most prevalent trucks driving around.

At Christmas last year, my sister and I went out to San Francisco. There, UPS' slogan "Everywhere you want to be" truly came alive. Every neighbourhood we visited, every suburb or outlying town we visited, we saw a UPS truck. Literally EVERYWHERE. It became such a joke that, 5 days into the trip, while exploring the lovely little town of Sausalito, we stopped taking pictures of the water and marina and cute little houses on the hills, and took a picture of the UPS truck (unfortunately we missed the UPS man).

Recently, all the Mailboxes Etc. stores have turned to The UPS Store (a buyout I assume I would know about if I cared to follow these sorts of things). As a result, that little brown truck is everywhere. Wherever I go, one is turning the corner. Barely a day goes by where I don't see that brown truck just ahead of, or behind me. I'm beginning to feel stalked. Or cornered, at least.

Conspiracy theorists think the government is tracking our every move, keeping an eye on everything we do. I don't think it's the government we have to worry about. I'm worried about the men in brown.

Not just everywhere you want to be. Everywhere you are.