Where good plants go to die

I've been away for several days. It was rainy so I was hoping my plants would be okay.

Turns out my hoping was futile.

When I returned, I took a walk around my flowerbeds. 65% of the last batch of annuals I planted are fried. Others are on their way out. The hanging plant that was sitting on my porch looks like someone poured bleach all over it. It actually looks like it belongs in a horror movie or something. (It sorta looks like cooked swiss chard. It used to be a lovely impatiens.)

On the flip side, the hydrangeas in the one bed are completely hidden by the weeds, which appear to be thriving.

(Actually, there is a bit of a bright note. My little batch of portulacas that came up has greatly increased in volume. There also appear to be two little plant type things (not weed type things) that are coming up in the back flower bed. So, overall, about 10% of what was planted, in total, is still alive. Great record. I either need to give up before another plant is harmed, or find myself a hot lawnboy)