The power of rationalization

Okay, so my general New Year's resolution was to get my life under control. Under that general umbrella were several themes. One was to get my finances in better shape/under control. Which meant, first of all, no more frivolous shoe purchases. No unnecessary but adorably cute sandals and other shoes could only be purchased as old ones were worn out and thrown out.

Good plan! Well done!

At some point after this decision, I happened upon these.

Another theme was to lose weight. And while that seems really cliche and obvious, it was actually to re-lose the weight I had gained when my life was essentially spiralling out of control in 2005. I'm planning on working on losing more, but the first goal is to get back to where I was. So I joined Weight Watchers. (Ya, I know, but the self-discipline method wasn't working so now I'm paying every week to lose and then gain and lose then gain - really, it's quite fun. Hey! Look! You gained .8 lbs this week cuz you sat down and ate an entire individual size pizza and way too much Chinese food! And you got to pay $16 to know that! Woohoo!). So I decided that, as a reward, when I hit 25 lbs I could buy myself a pair of frivolous and fun sandals. My incentive. My treat. My reward.

So, the last little while, I've been visiting these. One day my bookmark changed from the purple and orange slide to the blue and white slide (which, while still cute, doesn't fill me with joy like the purple and orange). And I thought that meant they were out of purple and orange. Over time the heartbreak grew. I couldn't find the shoes anywhere else online or in the real world. And I thought they were lost forever.

Tonight, in my boredom, or maybe in one determined last ditch effort, I decided to search through Zappo's entire Nine West collection to see if maybe they were still there. Joy of joys, I found them!!! Alleluia!

Except I've only lost 12 lbs.

I started bargaining with myself. Since they were obviously on the verge of extinction, could I purchase the shoes *now* if I promised not to wear them until I hit the 25 lb mark? Was that being too easy on myself? Was it just being practical?

I called the friend who I consider to be my Weight Watcher's mentor. (She's sorta like my AA sponsor. I call her in times of emergency. "OMG A! I ate a huge piece of cheesecake last night and they don't even list the points value of cheesecake in the book! That's not a good thing right?!") (She's also the evil soul who completely unleashed the uncontrollable shoe addiction I was so carefully keeping simmering below the surface, but that's beside the issue. :p)

I explained my dilemma. She was extremely supportive. She said that, in her experience, one really should be reward for the first 10 lbs. Because even the first 10 can be hard, especially just even in terms of getting your head into the whole game. So, she said, she thought I deserved a reward for the first 10 lbs and then another at 25. So I could get the shoes (and even wear them right! away!). She's a great friend.

So I've ordered the shoes. And am celebrating my 10 lbs. Who knows, maybe by the time they get here, I'll have hit 15 lbs lost! Over Easter weekend. Right. :p But my feet will look so cute! :)